What’s it like to have a party where the only one there is you? Why are you having a party? What are you celebrating? What excites you? Is there a problem?
As a boy of nine, my family found itself homeless. Our little family consisted of Mom, my sister Diane, brother Dave, and the youngest sibling, Dale Jean (age 3). A couple of weeks earlier, we lived in a two-story home with four bedrooms and a single-car garage. Oddly enough, the name of the sub-division was Story Book homes. Their sales motto was, “Every family has a unique story.”
Mom was twenty-three years old and had never worked outside our home or her parent's home. I was the oldest and tallest of the children. I was five feet seven inches tall. My mother was five feet ten inches tall.
Within a day of being homeless, I realized that we would starve t if I didn’t figure out a way to find love. Through an old friend of my mom, we found a garage we could live in, and the people would let us use their shower. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but we were alive.
As the newest poor kid in school, everyone let others know that I was poor like them, no father. They also made sure that no one would talk to me. The school was all Hispanic and five miles from the Mexican border. As a blonde hair blue-eyed boy, I stood out. Learning some Spanish was essential to our family's survival.
After a week or so, I found another boy like me. He was homeless and not Hispanic. When I met him, I didn’t like him. Everything he said was depressing. Everything was bad. Everything was against him. He was only a child. His mom worked sewing clothes.
One day, I was excited when I found a new restaurant to get food for my family. It was a large family-owned Italian restaurant. In the back, there was a sea of galvanized trash cans. Most of them really dirty and beat up. However, the real prize was inside. There was leftover pizza, bread, meat, sandwiches, and pasta. Of course, there were lots of pasta.
I showed my friend, and he said, “That food is dirty; I’m not going to eat after someone else! I said, “So, you’d rather starve?” He said, “We won’t starve, my mom knows lots of people, and they give us food. They are our friends.”
We argued for a few minutes then he said something that filled me with hope and inspiration. He said, “Besides, we’ll always be poor. No one cares about us.” What about your mom’s friends,” I said. He said, “They drop the food off. Most of the time, they leave it at the door. You’ll always be as poor as we are. So eating dirty food is going to help much.” He couldn’t be further from the truth.
His little pity party, for one, wasn’t something I enjoyed. But, inside, I kept saying, you might be wrong, over and over again.
On the way home from his place, I stopped to talk with an old man with only one leg. He sat on the same corner every day. People would give him money and sometimes food or coffee.
I told him about the conversation with my friend a few hours before. So here was his council to me.
Only you can decide what you want from me. No one can make you do or feel something you’re not unless you let them. Don’t let the present or the past hold the future hostage. Lastly, he said, “Just because someone throws a pity party, it doesn’t mean you have to attend.”
Wise counsel.