Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s in America, there were some rules that everyone was expected to follow. Unfortunately, if everyone followed those rules, we would never see real change in America.
When I was growing up in the 1950s, I was so busy living life and breaking rules that it never occurred to me there was a rule. Race, Religion, and Politics were three topics you were never supposed to talk about or write about without people getting very upset.
As a homeless kid at nine and ten years old (in the fifties), my sister and I went to the only school we could. Except for a few teachers, everyone was Hispanic but us. Our blonde hair and blue eyes made us look decidedly different than everyone else.
As life changed, so did schools. We weren't homeless, however, we were still living in the poorest part of San Diego. Our middle school was all African American except for my sister and me.
In each case, we thought it was normal, different but normal. Today, I couldn't be more grateful for my early childhood experiences. I had learned about poverty firsthand, but, it was in high school I also learned what it meant to be a different race.
In high school, fifty-five percent of us were Jewish. Twenty-five percent were Hispanic. The rest of us were almost anything. We had East Indian, Indian, Muslim, and first-generation kids from Italy, England, Australia, Scotland, France, and then there were the rest of us mutts.
I found out that I'm of English and that my lineage is as far back as the fourteenth century. That's a story for another time.
At age forty-six, my first wife and I divorced. It was months before I decided to date. It was 1991 and I was so confused. The last time I dated anyone was in 1965 just before I entered the military. In October of that year, I married my first wife.
We all know that there are so many choices. Personally, I've never had a belief in racial differences. My accidental and UnLikely upbringing almost ensured that I wouldn't.
Here are the choices that I saw before me, white like me, and so many shades from where I was to a very dark rich chocolate. All of that was available to me. Then there are the additional considerations of age, height, and weight. So many choices.
My first date came as I was explaining my sense of confusion to a beautiful young woman. She was five feet ten inches. She was also (from my perspective, much younger than me).
She asked the question, "So, how do you like being single?" I expressed my sense of confusion with all the choices before me. I shared the information I've just shared with you. Then, I said, ". . . for instance, would a young woman like you consider going out with a man my age?" She said, "absolutely." I said, "How about I pick you up at 7 pm this Friday night?" She said, "Great, it's a date. Here's my address."
That evening I found out that her father arrived in America at age twenty-two from Italy. Her mother arrived from Mexico at age 20. They met and married two years later. I was slightly older than her father. Opps, I don't think either of us thought that through. Still, we dated for several months. She loved putting on four-inch high heels. That way, she was only one inch shorter than me.
It would be a few years before I met the love of my life.
I always knew that I was destined to marry a redhead. However, I thought my first marriage to a woman that I thought was a redhead was the end of that dream. Turns out I was wrong.
My first marriage brought six children into this world and they begat fifteen grandchildren and four great children. Here's one family picture to demonstrate the result:
Author's family photo: Back row L to R My wife Margaret, me, granddaughter, age 13 half Samoan, next row granddaughter Cali age 18, half Samoan, granddaughter Xyanys, Puerto Rican, age 17, Zadey, 14, multiple races, grandson Oliver, age 8 and twin brother Henry, half American Indian, daughter Kate, the mother of Xianys, Zadey, and the twins.
This one photo illustrates a lot about the diversity of our family. My wife is Italian, Irish, and German. I'm American back to the late 1600s and English back to the 1400s.
Here in America, families are just that, a family. Who cares about the rest. In today's world race has no genetic basis, still, the social concept of race still shapes human experiences. Why?
I've been privileged to travel around the world. I've eaten dinner with a King, lunch with a Prime Minister. I've also participated in state dinners with Presidents of several countries. I've participated in activities where people of great wealth and those that were not wealthy were preparing for a sporting event. I found as I suspected, that we all put clothing on one leg at a time.
People are more the same, regardless of where they're from. I've learned that when I was homeless and eating food from galvanized beat-up old trash cans that I had so much more than the East Indian child running the streets of Delhi in India and were homeless.
I've been in a war, participated in, and have enjoyed peace. I found people were the same. Trying to survive.
We're all so much more similar than we are different. Prejudice is taught and then experienced. I've been on both sides of that experience. What I realized is that some people are so small in their thinking that they can't help themselves.
How many of us say we hate something only to find out we were wrong.
Just because you like something, doesn't mean you have to hate, treat others poorly, ignore, or abuse whatever it is that you don't like.
Most of us believe in a higher power. Many of us call that person G-d and believe that we became who we are because of that. Does that person make mistakes? Does that diety you believe in making people that are not all equal?
Race no longer matters unless we're using it to explain our ethnicity or maintain our culture. We should embrace our uniqueness and our culture.
We are the world.
What Continues To Divide Us
If you apply for nearly anything, they want to know your ace and or ethnicity. If you go into a Doctor's office and fill out their forms, they ask. The government also asks on just about every form or application. Of course, they also tell us that you can not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, ethnicity, national origin, etc., etc.
The real truth is, they shouldn't ask. It doesn't matter. Yes, I know there are federally funded programs that require that information. Let's cancel the program. Let's all agree, not to ask. Let's agree that we are all people, no matter what!
One of the companies I've had was in 55 countries. I used to describe myself (in my company profile) as American Born — Global by Nature.
Thank you for your time.