This is a true story.
One day when my Father-in-law, Dad (to me) was in my office talking about life, it caught me off guard because I was supposed to die when I was forty-two. Dad was exactly the age I am now when I asked the question: “What’s the secret to living a long life?”
Dad didn’t hesitate, he said, “Always move forward, never back. Keep moving.”
My wife and I talk about that every day. My wife is 10 years younger than me. I’m now 75. I never expected to live this long. I’m so grateful and blessed.
Every day has its own set of challenges. Dad had severe arthritis in both his hands and feet. So, his big idea was to come over to our home and trim our twelve-foot-high privacy wall that was ivy-covered. One day he just decided we didn’t need it that high. He felt that eight-foot was more than enough to shield our backyard. It took him two weeks to cut it down but he kept moving. Using only hand-clippers.
I asked him, “Doesn’t that hurt your hands?” He said, “Hell yes it hurts.” Then he said, “You have to push past it and keep moving forward.” It was about twelve years later when we noticed that dementia was settling in. It was at that same time we also noticed that he was still moving forward. Occasionally, we had to remind him which way was forward but he kept moving.
When he was eighty-eight, he still knew who I was but it was necessary (for his safety and ours) that we place him in a memory care facility just down the street from where we lived.
One day we were talking about exercise and he said, “You have to keep moving forward. I walk a couple of miles every day.” Dad had been using a wheelchair to get around since he was placed in the memory care facility. I challenged him. He said, “Hell yes, I walk at least a couple of miles every day.” I said, “Really?” “Yes, he said.” I said, “Great, I’ll come by every day and “walk” with you. I can make sure you don’t lose your balance and fall.” Then I said, let me see you walk.
He stayed in his wheelchair, looked backward, and began “walking.” I said, “Wow Dad, that’s great.” He was still in his wheelchair with his feet on the floor.
Dad “walked” every day. If I was there, great, if not, he’d start without me. By the time he was ninety, he only recognized my wife, his only child. The great man that gave me the hand of his only daughter, had taught me principles and values and was the father I never had as an adult, was gone. Before he passed, he and my wife still communicated every day. She was always there for him. His muscle memory was still intact up to and until four days before he passed.
So, the take-away is that even when your memory is going, your muscle memory is still in tack. Develop the habit of always moving forward, no matter what. Thanks, Dad.
About Dad — His full name and titles were Preston M. Jones, PP, PM, and a 33 degree Mason.
His life was all about helping others, especially kids working with the Los Angeles Shriner’s Hospital and the Long Beach Scottish Rite Clinic for children with aphasia.